Best Pinoy Jokes from the Past- Part 2

        WEDDING STATUS: A newly married man saved his wife's # on his cellphone as 'MY LIFE.'

        after 1yr of marriage he changed d name in the cellphone as to MY WIFE

        after 2yrs, he changed d name in the cellphone as to HOME

        after 5yrs of marriage, he changed d name in the cellphone as to HITLER

        after 10yrs of marriage,he changed d name in the cellphone as to "WRONG NUMBER!"
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        Lolo: Apo, magtago ka na, anjan na titser mo, alam niyang umabsent ka ngayon di ba?

        Apo: Lo, magtago ka na rin kasi dinahilan kong patay ka na kaya ako umabsent

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        Pinoy Joke #2
        GRADUATION SPEECH NI INDAY:

        A fleasance afternoon to all, to me, to you, we, they and everyone.

        Tonight, I am graduation, and i am froud of me.

        I invitation you all to eat our house because i know someday that I will eat your house too.

        I will die 10 chickens, 7 girls and 3 boys t eat you all and I will ask my father to cook my mother.

        I'm suring you will come because i'm graduation. thank you

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           Kung ang mga COUPLES

        ay magcecelebrate ng VALENTINES this month,

        and mga SINGLES

        ay iaadvance ang INDEPENDENCE DAY,

        Kalayaan!

        Kalayaan!

        Kalayaan!

        Kalayaan!...

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           MAGHIHIGANTI

        Anak: tay, andamot ng classmate ko

        Tatay: bakit naman anak??

        Anak: di kasi niya ako ininvite sa burol ng tatay niya eh. di ako nakakain ng tinapay.
        Di ko din siya iiinvite sa burol mo tay ha? sana malapit na para makaganti ako!



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Sa isang sosyaling salon:

        GRETCHEN: "I want my hair dyed jet black, cut it short, and then treat it with lots of Keratin extracts."

        ALING DIONISIA: "I want my hair dyed GOLD, curl it to the fullest level, then implant 1 diamond at the tip of every strand."

        Talbog si GRETCHEN..
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Husband leans over, made a wish and throws a coin.
        Wife  made a wish but leans too much, falls and drowns!
     Husband : Hala! Ambilis naman matupad ng wish ko!

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 PMA Cadet Training Ground

        Pedro:  Pare may tsimis na may bading dito sa dorm natin.
        Juan: Huh! Sino?
        Pedro: Sasabihin ko sa iyo pero kiss muna.  (da moves )

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 JINKY Pakyaw : Babe, ano ang password mo sa facebook at friendster?
 MANNY Pakyaw : tweety-donaldduck@mickeymouse_bugsbunny
 JINKY: Bakit ang haba naman?
 MANNY: Eh sabi du’n, minimum of four characters, eh! Gosh! Ano ka ba, babe? Duh!

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isang gabi, may lalaking nasiraan na sasakyan sa isang liblib na bayan..
        May ermitaryo sa puno ng balete at lumapit..dapat daw niyang bilhin ang dala nitong libro para umandar ang kotse nya. Napilitan syang bilhin ang libro sa halagang P1,000.oo
    sabi ng matanda "huwag titignan ang huling pahina kung hindi magsisisi ka!"
    Tapos biglang nawala ang matandatapos sabay andar ng kotse..
    pagdating sa bahay di sya makatulog, kinuha nya ang libro, tinignan ang huling pahina...
    ang nakasulat:

        NATIONAL BOOKSTORE
        P47.75